Fat Chics Need Clothes Too

Plus sized clothing sucks.  Not just because it's plus sized, but because all plus sized clothing manufactures and designers think women who need that size are amazons.  I see lots of women who are under 5'4" who shop in the BBW area of clothing stores but all of the pants, blouses, pajamas and dresses are made for large and tall women.  Don't they realize that there are some big squatty bodies out there?   If skinny chics can have a petite category then fat chics should have one too.  How about a plumply petite size? 

The other problem with plus sized clothing is that it is usually trendy or geared for young women.  I don't mind having a few trendy items in my wardrobe but if I want something timely and classic my only choice is a pair of jeans or pants or a dressy suit.  Newsflash to plus sized designers, I don't want to wear huge bright flowers on my blouses nor do I want street scenes from Paris or any other crappy graphics, save that for the fat juniors.

My other clothing pet peeve is cap-style sleeves.  Most large women also have large arms and,  while I'll say "more power to ya!" if you are one of those women who doesn't mind showing off your flabby upper arms, I think large women should be wearing either three-quarter-inch or long sleeves (at least in public).  There is nothing less appealing on a big girl than that flab just above the elbow.  And to let you know I'm not a sexist, I think it looks bad on men too.  And please make clothing out of material that doesn't cling to my body.  Fat rolls are not a pretty sight and while I know we shouldn't be ashamed of our bodies we also don't need to flaunt the fat.  I like that phrase "flaunt the fat", I should make some t-shirts.

Now, don't get all bent out of shape for my use of the word fat.  I'm fat, and if you wear the same size or larger clothing than I do then you're fat too.  We need to stop shying away from words, but that is another topic.

I recall my mother and her girdles.  There is a new product out for fat chics that mimic our mothers girdles but is supposed to be more comfortable.  I'm sorry, anything that binds your boobs and stomach can't be comfortable and probably isn't good for your health.  Remember when Scarlett has Mammy tie her girdle so tight that she can't eat?  Not happening in my lifetime.  The new term for girdles is "body-shapers" and one product is called "Spanx".  The weird thing is that skinny girls are flocking to Spanx like a sub to a dominatrix.  Heaven forbid if one ounce of fat can be pinched under that little black dress.  Apparently, getting the thing off so you can use the toilet is quite a trick.  Suffer skinny bitches.

I like comfort but I draw the line at muumuus.  My mother wore muumuus or something like that for awhile.  I refuse to wear a dress that makes me look like a tent.  She also wore stretch pants that looked like stretch pants (the kind with the permanent pleat) and blouses made of some kind of awful material.  Ah, those were the days.

Okay clothing stores and clothing designers, get busy and let us fat women wear your clothes proudly.  And don't forget the little people.

Funky Town

I have been dragging around for the past month and can't seem to come out of my funk.
It has gotten so bad that I won't allow anyone to come over because my house is so awfully nasty.  Gawd, I sometimes hate this place.  The unsealed cement floor downstairs is hard to keep clean, especially for someone like me who is not the best house keeper in the world.
When I get into this funk I don't have the energy or sedulousness (new word for me) to even bother with vacuuming, let alone mopping, so the grime is out of hand.  Of course, as I let the funk take over it puts me in a deeper funk and the cycle spirals downwards. 

You dear reader are thinking, "Hello!  Depression!".

Now, I don't think I'm depressed but I'll bet a psychologist would think otherwise. 
I remember when my marriage was falling apart and my ex decided to get counseling for himself (not marriage counseling, no he had no desire to "save" the marriage he just wanted to know why he was staying in the relationship) his psychologist told him that I was depressed even though she had never met me.  Fucking bitch.

Here's the deal.  I have wacky thyroid.  About five years ago I began having insomnia.  Then my hands started shaking so bad that I could not write well.  I felt so weak that my legs would even shake.  When I was in bed I would dream that I was running and wake to find my heart pounding so hard I could hear it.  Well, it turned out that I was hyperthyroid (runs in the family) which can cause horrible mood swings.  Let me tell you, I was the bitch from hell most of the time.  
I know, hard to imagine.  
Wacky thyroid can also cause/contribute to high blood pressure.  I'm surprised I didn't have a heart attack as my pressure was so high.  
After taking the three hundred dollar radioactive iodine capsule my thyroid was effectively killed and now I am on thyroid medication for life.  I'm also on blood pressure meds but that's probably because I'm so fat.  Not only do I have wacky thyroid, I'm also over fifty and both factors make it especially hard to keep the weight down.  Of course, I don't try very hard so I can't really blame my weight on that.


Why did I tell you this?  Because I went to the doctor for my yearly medication refill exam and lab work and it turns out that my thyroid medication was not right and my thyroid levels were low.  No wonder I've been in such a funk!

In two weeks, according to my doctor, I should be as good as new when my thyroid levels are back where they should be.  That will be just in the nick of time for that is when Matthew is coming over to install my new kitchen sink cabinet and I will need to get to work cleaning under the existing cabinet and getting all of the junk out of his way.

Get me out of Funky Town!

It's Been a Long Time

It has been seven months since my last post. In that time I have turned 50, had my first period in a year, shortened my hair and gained weight. My accomplishments are mind boggling.

My 50th birthday was loads of fun! Ceci and I went to Tulsa where we met Marcy, Karen, Kim and Lynn at the Embassy Suites for an overnight pajama party. We got to the hotel a little before 3 PM (which is the official check-in time) and our suite was not ready. After being told that it would just be a few minutes we sat in the lobby and chatted. About 15 minutes later I went to the front desk to ask about our room and they said it still wasn't ready. By that time I was getting hungry and asked if they could load our stuff into our room once it was ready while we went to Utica Square to eat an early dinner and shop a bit. We then hit the road and parked our asses in "The Wild Fork" which was a nice place with an outdoor dining patio and ample dining areas inside. We chose to eat indoors and ate and drank and carried on for over an hour. We then walked around Utica Square and shopped a bit and then went back to the hotel.

Our suite was spacious with two bedrooms, a wet bar and a sleeper sofa in the common room. I think we must have had the floor to ourselves as it was very quiet, although we were anything but quiet. We played games and opened birthday gifts and ate more food and drank and laughed and had a fabulous time. The only sour note was that I started my period, which I haven't had since December 2006, and I bled like a stuck pig. Not being prepared for such an onslaught I didn't have enough tampons as I was having to change them about every two hours. Luckily the public restroom in the lobby supplied tampons at no charge so it was okay. I recall that the last time I had that bloody of a period was when I stayed at the hotel in Tucson. Isn't that bazaar?

The next morning we took our time and requested a later check out since we were so late in getting into our room the night before and played a few more games. We then checked out and hit the road for a bit of Sunday Brunch at "The Brasserie". This was a bit more pretentious than the previous restaurant and the food was okay (not great) but the service was impeccable. After that we shopped at Wild Oats Market and then headed our separate ways back home. I was exhausted for the next week. I guess that's what happens when you hit the half century mark!

All-in-all my birthday was a great success and I'm proud to join the fabulous fifties club.

Belly Men

Why is it okay for men to wear jeans with a belt with their shirts tucked in and their big bellies hanging over their belts? If I were to dress like that people would look at me and point and laugh (or vomit). I know that people should feel comfortable in their skin but why the double standard? It's the same standard that makes it okay for guys with huge bellies go shirtless in the summer yet fat women are supposed to hide under tent dresses.

I am no skinny girl and feel self conscience in something sleeveless when it's hot but by gawd this year things are gonna change. I am going to let it all hang out and piss on those who think it's disgusting. I'm gonna get form fitting sleeveless dresses and wear them proudly. NOT! But I am going to be cool and comfy this summer and try not to let the stares of others stop me. After all I'm cool, collected and confident and that will always shine through.

Al Gore and His Environment

I watch the Academy Awards every year. I know, it's a silly show about something normal people shouldn't care about but it's a tradition for me. I don't have television service so I usually watch it on my tv with a rabbit ear antenna so the picture is very fuzzy. This year I was able to go to my bosses house and see it on a huge wide screen tv with satellite which was great!

What does this have to do with Al Gore and the environment? As you must be aware, Mr. Gore made a film last year, "An Inconvenient Truth" (which I have not seen) and it won the award for best documentary at the Oscars. As Al was thanking everyone and attempting to be a comedian I couldn't contain myself and was yelling at the screen "Maybe if you'd stop eating all those cows you could help save the environment!" Gads, he looks like he eats at McDonald's every day! Not that I am some sickly looking skinny vegan but good god!

Then, I hear on NPR a bit about Mr. Gore and his home in Tennessee. You can read it at http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB117271689203622916-lMyQjAxMDE3NzAyMTcwMTE2Wj.htmlwhich is an article in the Wall Street Journal. In a nutshell, Gore spends more on electricity in one month than most of us spend in a year. Come on, if he is gonna talk the talk he needs to walk the walk.
Rant over.