I have been dragging around for the past month and can't seem to come out of my funk.
It has gotten so bad that I won't allow anyone to come over because my house is so awfully nasty. Gawd, I sometimes hate this place. The unsealed cement floor downstairs is hard to keep clean, especially for someone like me who is not the best house keeper in the world.
When I get into this funk I don't have the energy or sedulousness (new word for me) to even bother with vacuuming, let alone mopping, so the grime is out of hand. Of course, as I let the funk take over it puts me in a deeper funk and the cycle spirals downwards.
You dear reader are thinking, "Hello! Depression!".
Now, I don't think I'm depressed but I'll bet a psychologist would think otherwise.
I remember when my marriage was falling apart and my ex decided to get counseling for himself (not marriage counseling, no he had no desire to "save" the marriage he just wanted to know why he was staying in the relationship) his psychologist told him that I was depressed even though she had never met me. Fucking bitch.
Here's the deal. I have wacky thyroid. About five years ago I began having insomnia. Then my hands started shaking so bad that I could not write well. I felt so weak that my legs would even shake. When I was in bed I would dream that I was running and wake to find my heart pounding so hard I could hear it. Well, it turned out that I was hyperthyroid (runs in the family) which can cause horrible mood swings. Let me tell you, I was the bitch from hell most of the time.
I know, hard to imagine.
Wacky thyroid can also cause/contribute to high blood pressure. I'm surprised I didn't have a heart attack as my pressure was so high.
After taking the three hundred dollar radioactive iodine capsule my thyroid was effectively killed and now I am on thyroid medication for life. I'm also on blood pressure meds but that's probably because I'm so fat. Not only do I have wacky thyroid, I'm also over fifty and both factors make it especially hard to keep the weight down. Of course, I don't try very hard so I can't really blame my weight on that.
Why did I tell you this? Because I went to the doctor for my yearly medication refill exam and lab work and it turns out that my thyroid medication was not right and my thyroid levels were low. No wonder I've been in such a funk!
In two weeks, according to my doctor, I should be as good as new when my thyroid levels are back where they should be. That will be just in the nick of time for that is when Matthew is coming over to install my new kitchen sink cabinet and I will need to get to work cleaning under the existing cabinet and getting all of the junk out of his way.
Get me out of Funky Town!